not been around

i thought that i would let everyone out in blogland know that i haven't been on since the begining of the month - due to being in hospital

it has been really horrible time for me, as not only have i not been able to make any cards while i was in hospoital, i was going through an awful time of gloom - and nearlly died!!

i'm so glad to be back at home now, so that i can catch up on the CB forum, and do some more card making, as well as do some some blog hopping to see what has been happening in blogland while i have been away

i will not go too much innto detail about what i was going through as it is painful, and i'm sure you are not that interested in getting an essay onn my life lol.

well it started out ok, as me and the OH were trying for another baby, god's why we must be mad as i have got 4 children!! i eventually fell pregnant after a few months of trying, and we were both over the moon!! but i excitement was to be short lived! quite soon into the pregnancy, i was really ill and suffering from servere pain, so we trawled off the hospital thinking it would just be like normal and get told that it was a bad kidney infection or something - i have had kidney troubel since i was about 2, so that is what we were both expecting to here.

but we were oh so wrong!! after some tests, they found out i was having an EPTOPIC PREGNANCY, this is something that we were not expecting. we then later found out that i was having twins again, which just rubbed salt into the wounds!!! if not having an eptopic pregnany wasn't bad enough, i had lost the chance to have 2 children - i know thay technically they wern't fully formed, but they were still babies to me!

to top all that off, and to make things worse, i nearlly died! so bang went the theory of just having to saty in for a couple of nights, be given antibiotics, and then go home again until the next time!

i'm now back home, and healthy thanks to the amazing staff at DERRIFORD HOSPITAL, but they don't have a magic wand to cure the blue mood that i am due to everythig that has happened. it doesn't help that evry time i try to go out, so that i'm not cooped up all day, all i see are new mothers!! i know that i will get over it at some point, but the pain is so RAW!!!

i am tying to think positive, and hopefully it won't take too long until i am feeling a bit better mood wise

well sorry for the essay guys, i beeter end it there, and if i need to i will make further posts regarding this matter

take care everyone

Jodie xx